Meeting the Parts of You That Resist Change

Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something healthy for yourself—and at the very same time, resisting it?

Of course you have.

A part of you wants to eat differently. Maybe more fruits and vegetables. Maybe more intention around meals.
A part of you wants to start lifting weights, going to the gym, or using the exercise bike that’s been collecting dust in the garage.
A part of you wants to meditate, to slow down, to make an appointment with a therapist, or to finally prioritize rest.

A part of you wants growth and change. It sees a healthier, more aligned tomorrow and wants to move toward it.

And then there’s another part.

A part that feels comfortable right where you are.
A part that feels overwhelmed by change.
A part that’s afraid, unsure, critical, tired, or simply uninterested.

When these parts collide, it can feel confusing—and discouraging. You may wonder why change feels so hard, or why motivation fades even when you know what would be good for you.

Resistance Is Not Failure

As a health and wellness coach, and someone trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), one of the most important things I want people to understand is this:

Resistance is not failure.

Resistance often shows up as:

• Procrastination (“I’ll do it next week.”)
  
  
• Overwhelm (“There are too many options. I don’t know where to start.”)
  
  
• Self-doubt (“I know what to do, but I don’t think I can pull it off.”)
  
  

These experiences can feel like self-sabotage. But more often than not, resistance is actually protective.

It’s coming from a part of you that’s trying to keep you safe.

A Personal Example

I recently shared on my podcast how I know—intellectually—that I need to step into more weight training as I move through my 50s. I’ve read the research. My friends talk about it. My doctor has told me.

And yet, I’ve been resisting.

I’m comfortable with my current routine: time on my mat, walking, movement that feels familiar. The idea of going to the gym, figuring out equipment, lifting weights—it’s felt overwhelming. A part of me has been saying, Nope. I don’t want to do this.

That inner conflict—wanting something and resisting it at the same time—is incredibly human.

A Compassionate Lens: Parts of Us

One of the most helpful shifts we can make is to recognize that we all have:

• Parts of us that want growth and change
  
  
• Parts of us that want safety, familiarity, and rest
  
  

These parts developed for good reasons. There are no bad parts.

When we ignore, override, or push past our resistant parts, they tend to push back harder. That’s when change feels like a battle.

The alternative is curiosity.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” we can ask:
“What might this part of me need?”

In my case, the part of me resisting the gym wasn’t lazy or unmotivated—it was overwhelmed. It lacked confidence. It needed clarity, support, and reassurance.

When I listened from that place, new possibilities emerged and I was able to make a plan that included receiving guidance from an expert and support from my family.

What Changes When We Listen Instead

When we meet resistance with curiosity rather than frustration, several important things happen:

• Curiosity creates softening.
  The inner tension eases when we stop fighting ourselves.
  
  
• Understanding creates choice.
  We can see what support is actually needed—more information, a clearer plan, a buddy, a mentor, or simply more time.
  
  
• Compassion builds internal trust.
  We begin to trust ourselves instead of feeling at odds on the inside.
  
  

This is what IFS calls Self leadership—stepping into a grounded, compassionate center where we can see the whole picture. From this place, we have more clarity, confidence, and connection. We’re better able to move forward in ways that feel aligned rather than forced.

How This Shows Up in Health and Wellbeing

This kind of inner work shows up everywhere:

• Making changes in how we eat
  
  
• Finding movement that feels supportive and sustainable
  
  
• Creating space for rest and boundaries
  
  
• Developing healthier ways to cope with stress
  
  
• Beginning (or returning to) practices such as yoga and meditation and/or to professional support
  
  

Change is hard. And it often requires more than just information or willpower.

When we take the time to understand the parts of us that resist change, we can meet those parts with compassion—and invite them to become allies rather than obstacles.

A Gentle Way Forward

If, in this early part of 2026, you’re noticing parts of you that resist change, I want you to know: you are completely normal.

Rather than pushing harder, I invite you to slow down and get curious. Have a conversation with yourself. Journal. Or talk with someone who knows how to hold this process skillfully.

Coaching can be a supportive space to meet resistance with care and clarity. And community—like my ongoing yoga and wellness membership—offers a place to practice self-compassion over time, alongside others who are navigating similar paths.

Sustainable wellbeing grows from the inside out.

When we soften the roadblocks within, the path forward becomes clearer—and change becomes something we can move toward with steadiness, confidence, and care.

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